1. What's the difference between a Jewish wife and a Catholic wife? A Jewish wife has real diamonds, a Catholic wife has real orgasms.
2. An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynecologist.” “I know,” said the old lady. “I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”
3. A Baptist, a Catholic, and a Mormon are in the maternity ward. The Baptist says, “One more son and I have a basketball team.” The Catholic says, “That’s nothing, one more kid and I have a baseball team.” The Mormon guy says, “That’s nothing, one more wife and I have a golf course.”
4. Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'' Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They’re gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.''
5. Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body?
6. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
7. What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud.
8. How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!
Featured on August 31, 2015
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